10 Rules for Living.

I keep seeing these rules for living everywhere. I spend so much time teaching people how to live their lives once they have stopped drinking or using drugs that I thought I would compile my own list based on what I’ve seen working with 1000’s of people.

1.       Be nice: “It’s nice to be nice” is a favourite quote from one of my favourite people.  Its simple really. Be nice. It feels good for the person on the receiving end and yourself and it can make someone’s day.  It doesn’t cost anything to be nice.  Cover them with kindness, sprinkle that shit everywhere. 

2.       Don’t sweat the small stuff: Seriously if you can master this one your life will be so much easier and happier. About half of what you worry about, if not more, you really don’t need to.  Try this, if you were to die in 3 months what would you do? I bet 70% of what is on your to do list is not important.  

3.       Appreciation: Having a mindset where you appreciate, will alter how you feel and how your day goes. In fact this is one of the simplest things you can do to make your life way more enjoyable.  Take your partner for instance or your kids it can be so easy to take them for granted or find fault in, rather than notice what’s amazing about them.  Find 5 things to appreciate about them right now and notice how that changes how you feel. Make this a daily habit.  If you are in a relationship, you love each other, then appreciate each other. Seriously, to love and be loved is an amazing thing.  If you have healthy, happy, children find things to appreciate about them, it’s a gift.

 4.       Look after your body you only have one: Seriously, this one is a lottery, you don’t actually know if you have one of those bodies that will go on forever no matter what you do, until it’s too late, so let’s err on the side of caution.  Look after it, drink water, eat good healthy foods, exercise, keep it on the occasional side with alcohol and drugs. Just doing these simple things can make such a difference to your life, how you feel and your mental health. When we feel good, life is so much easier. 

5.        Sleep: It’s good, seriously it is. Sleep, if you can’t sleep, get help, learn how to sleep. 

6.       Have faith: Sometimes life is shit, it just is, you know those curve balls, life stuff, or maybe we fuck up, make the wrong decision and it turns into a whole mess, it doesn’t matter either way.  Do what you can to change it, if you can’t change it, accept it, then have faith.  The one thing I can guarantee you is that everything will change.  Trust me I know, my life was tough for years, it changed, quickly.  Keep the faith.

 7.       If you want to do something, be something or be a certain way; learn from someone that has done it; or is doing it.  Anything is possible, don’t spend your time thinking about it, if you want something, or to be a certain way, find someone that is doing it and learn from them.  You only have one life, once you know what you want, go for it. 

8.       Spend time with people that love you: Simples, make time for people if you love them, they love you and make sure you tell them. 

9.       Don’t spend too much time in your head, worrying about what anyone else thinks. Trust me they are all doing the same thing and anyway it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks it’s your life. Everyone has an opinion, that’s all it is, an opinion.  Forget it, its not important, live your life on your terms. 

10.   Stop giving yourself a hard time. Life is short, shorter for some than others.  So just stop it, be nice, be nice and kind to you.  Imagine you are your own best friend, what would you say to yourself? How would you speak to yourself? Treat yourself? 

You only get one life, so enjoy it. 

Stephanie Chivers is an addiction specialist teaching people how to stop drinking, taking drugs and start living.  Find out more https://www.ichange21.com/