We need to talk about this, because people get really upset.

It’s one of those things that people don’t want to talk about.  I get it, no one wants to say they messed up.  People feel like they are a failure.  There are so many negative words and feelings attached to this.

People call these events relapses, slips, going backwards etc. Lots of horrible, negative words that make us feel bad. 

Here’s the thing, we are not perfect and life isn’t perfect.

Very few people actually give up something and then never do it again.  Even people who are incredible healthy, healthy eaters and fitness lovers etc. eat ice cream from time to time, or have a take away.

Abstinence, for some people is the only way but for most people it won’t be.

When you first stop drinking, or whatever your poison is.  Maybe you will have set a goal.

You could be planning to stop for 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, a year or even alcohol free for life. ...

We need to talk about sleep and relaxation or down time.  I don’t mind what you call it.

Those of you that know me, know I do a lot of work with women.  Women of all ages and all walks of life.

Women with partners, husbands, children, caring for older relatives, career women, you name it there is every type of woman in there.

There are a few common themes that come up a lot.

One of them is feeling tired and before anyone says anything, I know I know, I am one of the worst for pushing myself and keeping myself going.  That also puts me in a good place to talk about it because I know.

I feel like we have been sold something that is unattainable.  You know the “ we can have everything dream”.  Now don’t get me wrong, if you want everything you can have everything if it’s that important to you and I am not going to stop you.  But it’s not real, let’s be clear, no one can do everything and be everything.

It’s a...

The sun is out, the BBQ is on and you crack open the beer or the fizzy wine.

It’s like the perfect trio.

When I worked in alcohol services I used to hear it all the time, “it was a lovely hot sunny day so I went to the pub and had a cold beer. It’s a massive trigger for me”.

The suns out, so you get the Beers in, or wine or whatever your tipple is.

I will be honest here the sun isn’t one of my triggers at all, if anything when the sun is out, I want to eat and drink healthy things and increase my fitness so I am beach body ready (well maybe that’s a bit far, minus a beach belly - ok that will do ).

Those all-inclusive holidays sound like a nightmare to me. Where you can eat and drink whatever you want.   I have never done one, it doesn’t appeal to me at all, because basically I don’t trust myself. I come from a working-class background, if its free you have it, get your money’s worth.  Even though I know you have...

I recently I asked my audience what can I help you with the most?

The biggest thing you want is more top tips for quitting.

I know I go on about booze a lot, for so many reasons, but essentially these tips can be translated for any substance that is causing you a problem in your life today.

I have many favourites as you know.

Eat healthy foods, don’t drink or take drugs, exercise, sleep, spend time with the people you love, laugh, be in nature.  You know all the simple things that we know work.  Fundamentals I call them.  Get your basics in place.

If you have trouble getting your basics in please work with a suitably experienced and qualified coach.  Seriously it will really help and save you so much time.

Are you ready, drum roll………

My number 1 tip for when you take a break, or stop using anything is get out there and do something different.

I mean it really.

I know it’s tough when you first stop and the last thing you want to do...

Some of us are bothered by the way we look.  I know we shouldn’t be, but we are. Let’s be real about it.  I am not talking about looking like a Barbie doll or some weird plastic caricature of yourself. I am talking about growing old gracefully, feeling comfortable in your own skin, in a Susan Sarandon type of way.

Because let’s be honest, if we feel good, life feels better, easier, we are more confident and it improves all areas of our life.

If you know me, you know I really don’t mind where you get your motivation from to be healthy and happy.  It’s your motivation after all not mine.  I just want you to live the best life you can, have choices.

Feeling healthy and happy is a big part of that.

So, if you are motivated by how you look and that helps drive your decisions about what you’re eating, your exercise and lifestyle then, great go for it, because it wont harm you.  Making healthy choices that is.

One of the biggest...

Ok let’s talk about social anxiety and how to socialize without drinking.

I am not a fan of labels, but you all know what I mean by social anxiety so I will use it. 

What I have seen in all my years of doing this work and living it, is that some people can really struggle with socialising when they are giving up alcohol, partying or drug use. 

Mostly this is just because they have been so used to socialising with. 

I think what has happened is as a society we acceptably use alcohol and other substances, although mostly alcohol as a social lubricant and to do business. 

It’s a given, it’s just what happens. We drink, we socialize. 

I don’t think people really realise that that’s what they are doing.  It isn’t a conscious thing.  It’s just you drink when you are out and about, most people do. So, it isn’t until you start giving up alcohol that you really notice this stuff. 

Are you...

Have you have been thinking about getting help to stop drinking? Or reducing or controlling your drinking?

Or maybe it’s your partying or drug use that has got out of hand.

You don’t want to tell your doctor or maybe you have spoken to them but it wasn’t really that helpful.

Some people will just be able to stop, gain control or reduce.  There is so much information out there on how to stop drinking, but it’s hard to know who and what to listen to.

What if you can’t do it on your own, what then? There is lots of help to stop drinking available, but you have to know where to look.

When I wanted to make a change and find help to stop drinking, I was lucky there was a great trainer and therapist in my life that had already spotted me coming a mile off, so they were ready for the call.  Also, in some weird way I was trying to help myself.  The want was there, I wanted my life to be different I just didn’t know how.

If that person...

If you want to make changes to your life, you must do something different. Action is needed.

Yes, you can read books, do courses and learn from people.  Obviously, they are all good things to do.  But none of it matters unless you are willing to do something about it and try things. And that’s the bit where people get stuck.

The thing is we don’t know until we try, the only way is through.

In fact, I would say that’s how most of us learn, through doing.

For instance when you first learn to drive you have no idea what you are doing.  All of it seems weird, awkward, scary and confusing.  You have to think really hard, pay attention and concentrate.  You make mistakes, stall the car and kangaroo jump around the car park.  Maybe you even feel scared and anxious. Or have doubts about whether you will even be able to learn. Thoughts of “will I ever pass my test” or “will I kill someone” running through your head.

It...

Everyone keeps banging on about alcohol……. What’s the big deal?

I am going to go straight in with this. Alcohol is a drug (yes, it is).  A drug is something you put into your system (take, drink) that effects how you think and feel. And alcohol definitely does that.

It can make you feel relaxed, sleepy, excited, disinhibited, more sociable, loud, aggressive, slur your words, have trouble walking, suffer from incontinence, vomit, have hallucinations, paranoia, anxiety, sweating, shaking and the list goes on.  It has many effects on the body.

Alcohol is - a colourless volatile flammable liquid which is produced by the natural fermentation of sugars and is the intoxicating constituent of wine, beer, spirits, and other drinks, and is also used as an industrial solvent and as fuel.

If alcohol was re classified today it would be a class A drug up there with heroin and cocaine.

Apart from the obvious serious issues, there are many reasons why alcohol...

Top tips from others on how to live a happy healthy life, free from bad habits and addictions.

Most of my learning comes from working with and listening to thousands of people.  Yes, I have read the research and the books and taken part in a lot of training.  But nothing really compares to working with and listening to people that have done it.

People who have stopped and reduced: their drinking, their partying or their drug use and have changed their lives.  It doesn’t have to be people that have come back from the dead.  Everyone I have worked with has a story.  These are people from all walks of life: rich, poor, old, young. Getting into trouble with booze, drugs, food or gambling doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care if you work, whether you have money or where you come from.  It can effect anyone and everyone.

Here is a collection of some of my favourite little pieces of wisdom from those that have been there and are still doing...