When you stop drinking or take a break from booze, if you are not careful it can feel like you are depriving yourself.

This is not the point.

I know for some, there will be a period of time when you may need to just stay away from the action and get your head down.  That’s ok for a few weeks, well even a few months if it’s been a big issue.  In fact, if it’s a big issue. You know, a big health scare, serious depression, anxiety, affected relationship or criminal record. I would advise that you do stay away from alcohol altogether for as long as possible.

That’s doesn’t mean you can’t have treats though, reward yourself.

This is so important.

The “I have had a hard day with the kids, a hard day at work, I need a drink” feeling. I deserve it I have worked hard, this Is for me. You know the type of thinking.

You’ve taken the booze away so what are you going to do instead.

If you don’t put anything else in, trust me,...

Dealing with weddings alcohol free or at least not getting hammered.

I feel like all year round is wedding season these days. I’ve never been a massive fan of them, some of them go on so long. It’s all the waiting around for the next thing to happen that gets me

I don’t go to many as I have a mostly alternative friendship group where they are not married. I’m not even sure if we are that alternative anymore as less people are getting married.

I have had a few this year, weddings that is.

All very different, which is nice.

What’s clear is weddings are a massive boozy affair. Some more than others, I would love to see an alcohol-free wedding.  If you have been to one or are planning one let me know.

Anyway, because I have been to a few it’s got me thinking about how to enjoy a wedding without being carried out on a stretcher, and remembering what happened after 6pm.

Alcohol Free.

Let’s tackle the alcohol free one first.  Maybe...

Last week in my facebook groups we have been talking a lot about how to change how you feel.

Well, let’s face it; we will be talking about this regularly I think.

This isn’t the case for everyone, but bare with me.  You have had a bad day, an argument with your partner, a run in with your boss or your teenager is being a teenager.  Anyway, life happens, stuff happens, sometimes every day and it can provoke negative feelings in us.

If you have been a drinker or a drug user, then you could have got into the habit of pouring a glass of wine to take the edge off a bad moment or day to change how you feel.

It’s quick, it’s effective.  It doesn’t take much effort or planning.  You may not even realise you are doing it for that reason.

You open the bottle, pour a glass, take a sip and you feel better, or you forget.

But maybe you have reached the point where alcohol isn’t your friend anymore.  You have had enough....

We need to talk about this, because people get really upset.

It’s one of those things that people don’t want to talk about.  I get it, no one wants to say they messed up.  People feel like they are a failure.  There are so many negative words and feelings attached to this.

People call these events relapses, slips, going backwards etc. Lots of horrible, negative words that make us feel bad. 

Here’s the thing, we are not perfect and life isn’t perfect.

Very few people actually give up something and then never do it again.  Even people who are incredible healthy, healthy eaters and fitness lovers etc. eat ice cream from time to time, or have a take away.

Abstinence, for some people is the only way but for most people it won’t be.

When you first stop drinking, or whatever your poison is.  Maybe you will have set a goal.

You could be planning to stop for 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, a year or even alcohol free for life. ...

We need to talk about sleep and relaxation or down time.  I don’t mind what you call it.

Those of you that know me, know I do a lot of work with women.  Women of all ages and all walks of life.

Women with partners, husbands, children, caring for older relatives, career women, you name it there is every type of woman in there.

There are a few common themes that come up a lot.

One of them is feeling tired and before anyone says anything, I know I know, I am one of the worst for pushing myself and keeping myself going.  That also puts me in a good place to talk about it because I know.

I feel like we have been sold something that is unattainable.  You know the “ we can have everything dream”.  Now don’t get me wrong, if you want everything you can have everything if it’s that important to you and I am not going to stop you.  But it’s not real, let’s be clear, no one can do everything and be everything.

It’s a...

Or Alcohol free grown up drinks as I call them.

For the first time ever I am quite excited about the range of alcohol free drinks on offer.

Maybe they have been there all the time and it’s just me living in a cave in Devon.  But it seems like the world is getting the idea.

Some of us don’t want to drink alcohol, well actually more of us all the time.  How exciting is that.

But as we know, the range of alcohol free drinks has been a little bit poor , even terrible if you are not sugar mad.  Let’s face it pretty much all soft drinks are very sugary.  Which I am not a fan of.  After a while your mouth gets a bit furry.

I hear rumours though that some of these aren’t too sweet and taste like they may be suitable for grown-ups.

Purchasing them in your local supermarket may still be an issue.  But the fact that they are there means someone has thought about us, it’s a step in the right direction. And we can buy it off the...

The sun is out, the BBQ is on and you crack open the beer or the fizzy wine.

It’s like the perfect trio.

When I worked in alcohol services I used to hear it all the time, “it was a lovely hot sunny day so I went to the pub and had a cold beer. It’s a massive trigger for me”.

The suns out, so you get the Beers in, or wine or whatever your tipple is.

I will be honest here the sun isn’t one of my triggers at all, if anything when the sun is out, I want to eat and drink healthy things and increase my fitness so I am beach body ready (well maybe that’s a bit far, minus a beach belly - ok that will do ).

Those all-inclusive holidays sound like a nightmare to me. Where you can eat and drink whatever you want.   I have never done one, it doesn’t appeal to me at all, because basically I don’t trust myself. I come from a working-class background, if its free you have it, get your money’s worth.  Even though I know you have...

I recently I asked my audience what can I help you with the most?

The biggest thing you want is more top tips for quitting.

I know I go on about booze a lot, for so many reasons, but essentially these tips can be translated for any substance that is causing you a problem in your life today.

I have many favourites as you know.

Eat healthy foods, don’t drink or take drugs, exercise, sleep, spend time with the people you love, laugh, be in nature.  You know all the simple things that we know work.  Fundamentals I call them.  Get your basics in place.

If you have trouble getting your basics in please work with a suitably experienced and qualified coach.  Seriously it will really help and save you so much time.

Are you ready, drum roll………

My number 1 tip for when you take a break, or stop using anything is get out there and do something different.

I mean it really.

I know it’s tough when you first stop and the last thing you want to do...

Some of us are bothered by the way we look.  I know we shouldn’t be, but we are. Let’s be real about it.  I am not talking about looking like a Barbie doll or some weird plastic caricature of yourself. I am talking about growing old gracefully, feeling comfortable in your own skin, in a Susan Sarandon type of way.

Because let’s be honest, if we feel good, life feels better, easier, we are more confident and it improves all areas of our life.

If you know me, you know I really don’t mind where you get your motivation from to be healthy and happy.  It’s your motivation after all not mine.  I just want you to live the best life you can, have choices.

Feeling healthy and happy is a big part of that.

So, if you are motivated by how you look and that helps drive your decisions about what you’re eating, your exercise and lifestyle then, great go for it, because it wont harm you.  Making healthy choices that is.

One of the biggest...

Ok let’s talk about social anxiety and how to socialize without drinking.

I am not a fan of labels, but you all know what I mean by social anxiety so I will use it. 

What I have seen in all my years of doing this work and living it, is that some people can really struggle with socialising when they are giving up alcohol, partying or drug use. 

Mostly this is just because they have been so used to socialising with. 

I think what has happened is as a society we acceptably use alcohol and other substances, although mostly alcohol as a social lubricant and to do business. 

It’s a given, it’s just what happens. We drink, we socialize. 

I don’t think people really realise that that’s what they are doing.  It isn’t a conscious thing.  It’s just you drink when you are out and about, most people do. So, it isn’t until you start giving up alcohol that you really notice this stuff. 

Are you...